Bride with their bridesmaids
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I admit that I’ve been planning my wedding since I was in middle school. I recall sitting on a friend’s bed and making a list of the ladies I wanted to ask to be my bridesmaids. Having my dearest friends by my side to celebrate my marriage to the guy of my dreams has always been something I’ve looked forward to.
Even though I still don’t have a ring on my finger, I’ve attended and participated in several of my friends’ weddings. And I’ve thought about who I’d ask to be my bridesmaids on my wedding day.
I’ve seen wedding photographs with 15 attendants on either side, and I’m curious how close they are to their wedding party. Were they deliberate in their selection, or were they simply unable to limit it down?
Perhaps you have seven sisters. Perhaps your future mother-in-law expects the groom’s third cousin to be present. There are instances when there is no way around it for the benefit of the family. But, when it comes to individuals, you may invite to stand by you on your wedding day, what’s an excellent filter to use when you choose your bridesmaids?
When I fantasize about my wedding day, I consider more than which friends can throw a spectacular bridal shower and handle wedding arrangements. Don’t get me wrong: you should be concerned about it as well. But, more significantly, I want ladies who will stay with me for the rest of my life and help me be the wife I aspire to be.
I’ve asked myself the following questions to help me decide who I’d ask to be my bridesmaid:
Will my bridesmaids defend my marriage?
I’m grateful for dependable pals. It’s reassuring to know they’ve got my back.
Some women, however, let loyalty override their attempts to assist her in pursuing a Christian marriage. For example, when marital disputes develop, they invariably take their friend’s side. They believe that pleasing your buddy is the most acceptable way to love them.
When a couple marries, the pastor will frequently say, “Let no man put asunder” or “Let no man separate.” It was Jesus who started it first. Jesus’ statements indicate that marriage is intended to endure a lifetime and should never be broken by either the husband or wife. However, it also cautions others from devising a means to separate the couples.
The bridesmaids I choose must be devoted to assisting me in loving and respecting my marriage, not simply protecting myself.
Will she refocus my attention on Jesus?
Have you noticed how your friends’ ties with Jesus affect not just their lives but also yours? You become the grateful recipient of the new realities Jesus reveals to them. What a great present!
Like when I’m preoccupied with minor stuff. Or when I’m overcome with dread and need to remember that God is “my hiding spot.” I need a buddy who is wise enough to notice my wandering thoughts and knows Whose character I should be focusing on instead.
Of course, I enjoy talking about movies and fashion with my friends, but I am most blessed by the ladies whose love for Jesus shines through when you meet them. Because of their track record, I can rely on them to assist me in fostering a Christian marriage.
Which of your pals is already doing this? Do you have any acquaintances like this who you should bring into your life?