Couple doing romance wearing face mask.

Couple doing romance wearing face masks.

When I married my husband, Robbie, he liked to add some “romance” in the middle of a dispute. I believe he assumed his actions would stop the gases from pouring out of my ears. It was ineffective. 

Years later, we are still at odds with our idea of romance. I keep reminding him that sitting on the couch with the television news on while he surfs social media and I fiddle with my newest pastime does not equal “quality time.” He doesn’t see why spending so many hours in the same area doesn’t count for anything. And he isn’t alone. 

What kind of Romance isn’t there? 

Before we can describe what romance is, we must first define what it is not. 

Romance is not synonymous with love

In any relationship, love is considerably more essential than romance. Love is a spiritual experience. It’s a connection. Love entails dedication. It’s a promise fulfilled. Anyone who is thinking, “My partner must not love me since he/she never does anything romantic,” has to get that lie out of their brain. “Let us not love in word or discourse, but in action and truth,” urged the apostle, John. 

Romance is not the same as sex

Sex has the potential to be romantic. “Three things are too magnificent for me; four I do not understand: the flight of an eagle in the sky, the flight of a snake on a rock, the flight of a ship on the great seas, and the flight of a man with a virgin,” Solomon remarked. 

Consider the image Solomon is creating. A guy must be polite, tolerant, and giving while he is with a virgin. He can’t just think about himself. He needs to caress and soothe her, and the first step is to make her feel safe. 

So, what exactly is Romance? 

Romance is a statement of admiration and worth. “You are precious to me, and I want to congratulate you,” it adds. Romance is a method to show your partner that you don’t take their love for granted. 

Remember when you were dating before you got married? Remember when you used to send flowers, go on dinner dates, arrange surprises, and dance? Those were not professions of love—how can you love someone you’ve only just met? Instead, those were indications to the other individual that you saw something remarkable about them. That individual was not like everyone else, and you recognized it.

Marriage says, “You are still significant to me.” 

Your partner wants to know that you are still interested in making them happy. You still recognize and cherish the value your companion provides to your life. Romance demonstrates that you are still prepared to make sacrifices for them. That is why flowers and dinner dates are essential—you spent your hard-earned money or time on the present or planning the occasion. It is the notion that is important. 

“I know you”

Everyone wants to know and to be recognized. That is how God formed us. We want to see manifestations of that understanding in marriage. Women desire more than simply flowers. They want to know whether you know what her favorite flower is. A spouse desires more than simply sex. He wants to know that you still find him appealing and like being near him. We all want to know that our partners adore us from the inside out and cherish our unique personalities and peculiarities.