couple doing romance
Finding the right life partner can be a serious challenge. Parents and others can offer advice, but it’s always about following your heart.
When Ron and Mark Mehl finished high school, he gave them a self-published, hardbound compilation of his views on important life issues and personal values. His reasoning? “I wanted them to know over time that I cared enough about them and their future to put my heart into a book for them…just in case I couldn’t be there.” Ron Mehl maintained his promise to his boys that each book would be one-of-a-kind and would never be published. He did, however, develop a comparable resource for dads to pass on knowledge to their offspring. A Father’s Advice to a Son or Daughter Leaving Home. And that included finding a life partner.
Life Partner is a Strong Term
Aside from accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior, selecting a life partner is the most critical decision you will make. Throughout the years, I’ve met with dozens of couples for premarital counseling.
A young person who tells you they can’t live without you, that they’re sad, and that life looks colorless and empty when you’re not there is an example of want. That is a form of love, but it is not the type of love that will keep a marriage together over time. While they may believe they “need” you today, it’s likely that in five months, you’ll no longer satisfy their “need,” and they’ll discover that they “need” someone else.
I teach these young couples that love is founded on dedication and that all you do is fulfill, satisfy, and serve the one you love. True love does not enter a relationship expecting only to receive. It enters a relationship with the intention of giving and giving and giving.
Let me demonstrate how misleading the world’s notion of “love” may be. Consider a young couple who have just been dating for a few weeks. It doesn’t take long for this young man to tell his girlfriend how much he loves her and how tough it is for him to keep his hands off her. He presses her into a sexual connection, explaining that he “loves her so much” that he can no longer contain himself. That’s not something you want in a life partner.
The fact is that every young woman who hears such a statement should understand that the young guy does not love her too much… he loves her too little. He isn’t thinking about her at all. He would never take away the innocence and purity of someone he genuinely loves. His emphasis on a sexual relationship demonstrates just one thing: he loves himself far more than he loves her.
What indeed provides harmony to a relationship?
Check to see whether your life partner loves God more than they love you. Jesus responded. The second is similar: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
It is critical to observe your partner’s devotion to God. Why? Because the way they love and serve Him will eventually be mirrored in the way, they love and serve you. That’s how you find the right life partner.
Make sure your life partner has character: “Blessed are those whose ways are faultless, who walk in the Lord’s law.”
Character men and women are trustworthy in all they do and have a hunger for righteousness. They will maintain their word regardless of the cost. That’s the right selection for a life partner.