couple in romantic mood

couple in romantic mood

I’ve recently become obsessed with HGTV series like Fixer Upper and Property Brothers. I enjoy seeing the house makeovers. Taking on a fixer-upper is difficult for the faint of heart, from discovering dangerous electrical conditions to destructive foundation issues. It’s a good metaphor for a relationship, too.

We’ve been staring at our kitchen for months, figuring out what we could do to update it, but I can’t visualize it. I don’t have a lot of vision; I have a hard time stepping into a room and just imagining what may be. Usually, I see the chaos. When my husband has an idea for something in the house or yard, he knows he has to either draw me a picture (which he is excellent at) or locate something online similar to what we’re discussing. 

A relationship is similar to a fixer-upper. 

A significant distinction is that if I enter a relationship with a wish list of things I would like to alter about my husband, I am setting myself up for disappointment. In my marriage, the only person I can expect to alter is myself. And the only one who has the power to make such adjustments is the God who created marriage in the first place. 

Dreamhouse, fantasy relationship 

Drew has invariably shown them a house that fulfills every item on their wish list until they realize the cost but is far out of their financial range. 

He’s always attempting to illustrate a point, such as, “You can’t afford move-in ready on your budget.” Look for a fixer-upper and let Jonathan turn your fantasies into a reality. 

There are a lot of parallels with a relationship there. We could run upon other couples whose marriages we admire. They get along well as a couple; they like doing things together, he’s romantic and caring, she’s attractive and godly and maintains a great home. 

Yeah. Right. 

If you asked your ideal pair if their relationship has always looked this way, I’m sure they’d answer no. And it will continue to take a lot of effort. They began as fixer-uppers as well. 

It’s not something we openly discuss at church, but how liberating is it to know that we’re not alone in our need for a bit of freshening up in our marriage? And sometimes that entails a complete gut job. 

Our marriage: Renovating. 

Our marital counselor taught us a lot about repairing our marriage over many months. On one occasion therapist requested us to share something that we had never shared before. 

David’s response hit me like a sledgehammer through the heart: “If I had known marriage would be like this, I would not have gotten married.” 

Ouch. I hadn’t realized how frail he thought our relationship was. My heart home was in desperate need of repair. 

Old relationships had hardened my heart, and I vowed never to be wounded in the same manner again. The brick wall I had erected to protect my heart also protected it from closeness with David. Although I believed we had a fantastic relationship—we got along well, we’re best friends, and seldom fought—I could not acknowledge that we could have had so much more.