It’s tempting to isolate yourself after getting married. However, it isn’t healthy and you need to stay connected with your community.
My spouse and I had a rocky start to our marriage. There had been no affairs, family deaths, or miscarriages, all of which may cause conflict in a partnership. We just discovered that marriage was considerably more complicated than we had imagined. And we didn’t have a community to rely on.
And then there was something that made it even worse. We were all by ourselves.
My husband and I spent the first few months of our marriage without a spiritual community. We moved to a new city soon after our wedding. We didn’t see anything odd with this at first. After all, isn’t marriage about pursuing a deep, personal relationship with your spouse based on being “one”?
We discovered that marriage is really about all of these things, but that as Christians, we are also designed to live in the community.
Why do we require others?
Many people are embarrassed to confess that they need help in their marriage. My marriage has grown stronger when surrounded by a community of brothers and sisters who model godly relationships and expose us when we mistreat our spouses.
An authentic religious community will strengthen your marriage, whether sisters walk beside a woman and point out her needless criticism of her husband or brothers who walk with a husband who needs to invest more quality time in his marriage. With a solid community at your side and investing in your marriage, you’ll be better prepared to handle heavier storms, such as miscarriage or the death of a loved one, when they do arise.
This does not imply that a Bible study group or an accountability partner can cure all marital difficulties. We urge those of you who are experiencing significant marital issues to seek professional assistance—and you must remember that there is no shame or love in seeking assistance, whether from a fellow believer or a certified professional.
Whatever the issue or source of assistance, keep in mind that your marriage is not an island. It flourishes with a sense of community.
Identifying a Community
Getting married does not make you an island. You may spend more time with your spouse than with your pals. It might also imply that you confide in your partner more than anybody else in your life. But it doesn’t mean you should stop seeking the wisdom, wise counsel, and support of your Christian friends.
If you are already part of a Christian community, I encourage you to open up to them about issues in your marriage. When you sin against your partner, confess it to them. Request that they pray for you to be a better husband or wife. It will strengthen your marriage.
If you are not a part of a community, I encourage you to seek out other Christian couples who can walk with you and your spouse. Even if your marriage appears to be ideal right now, life will undoubtedly throw curveballs your way. You will require the assistance of Christians who can pray for you and counsel you on life’s problems.