pair sitting on a bench
It can be seriously challenging to maintain proper communication with your spouse, especially in times of conflict, but it is essential.
Most of us are very aware of this, yet we frequently do not know how to overcome these obstacles with our spouses. There is no one-size-fits-all strategy to communication that will work for every relationship. Specific techniques can help you communicate better with your spouse. You can move through conflict and, in some cases, avoid it entirely.
The Weekend to Remember seminar undoubtedly assisted me in learning how to communicate more effectively with my spouse. After four years of marriage, I’ve discovered that my spouse and I communicate exceptionally differently. We also have a wide range of personalities to add to the mix.
My spouse, for example, grew up in a noisy family—not just yell at the TV during football loud, but loud in the way they communicated their ideas, argued, and loved. His family is everything but quiet. My family, on the other hand, was quite the contrary. In reality, I never witnessed my parents argue because they decided to avoid disagreement rather than discuss it.
When my husband and I married, we found that our childhoods, current personalities, and communication expectations differed. It might have been disastrous, but we’ve learned to overcome these obstacles and discover a better method to connect. Here are a few pointers from the Weekend to Remember. These actions can sometimes avoid conflict. Other times, it aids us in moving through the conflict to the other side—reconciliation.
Pay close attention.
Throughout my marriage, I’ve found myself prepared to reply to my spouse in an argument rather than genuinely listening to what he has to say. At times, I am more focused on the tone of his voice or how he says things rather than genuinely hearing the substance of his heart.
It is much simpler to soften your heart and hear what your husband has to say if you pause and listen without allowing anger or other emotions to dominate your thinking. That’s good communication skills at work.
Don’t accuse anyone.
When we are angry, it is pretty simple to accuse someone of causing us damage. However, suppose we pause and explain to someone how a circumstance affected us or how we viewed it, rather than accusing them of maliciously injuring us. In that case, we may see that many disagreements are based on misunderstanding or overreactions. That makes communication very difficult.
Instead of beginning with “you,” try beginning these talks with “I” statements. Not telling your partner, “You never help around the home,” try expressing, “I’m feeling overwhelmed and could use some help.” “Could you kindly take out the garbage?” Instead of blaming your partner, you’ll find yourself conveying the source of the problem to them.
Most importantly, remember to forgive even if you forget every other item in your communication kit. Following that, you must ask forgiveness from your spouse.
In most cases, a quarrel or a communication breakdown requires two people. Therefore you most likely have something to beg forgiveness for. Always remember that real forgiveness, and the granting of such forgiveness, is not only a biblical requirement but it is also a heart-healing remedy. If you and your spouse can forgive each other often (because trust me, you will make mistakes! ), you can build a marriage that will last through thick and thin.