Are you worried that your spouse just hasn’t been paying attention when you’re talking, even if it’s something that’s important to you?
But I had a feeling my spouse wasn’t as enthusiastic as I was or paying attention. This is how it went down:
“I honestly believe it is something we need to address.” What are your thoughts on the entire situation?”
“Mm-hmm,” says the husband, immersed on his phone.
Husband: “Yeah.” (Briefly glances at me.)
Me (trying to be amusing rather than irritated): “So, aliens for supper.”
Yep. My dear hubby was deaf.
You’ve probably suspected at times that your husband isn’t listening to you, whether on purpose or not. You’ve asked for assistance with work that he doesn’t recall you discussing. Or he suddenly doesn’t understand why you’re upset after you’ve told him at least once a day for the past week. Did he even hear what you were saying? Was he paying attention?
Wives, don’t be so arrogant. You are equally responsible for not paying attention when he talks.
I’m sure I am. I was so preoccupied with planning out the week’s events, meals, and grocery list the other day that my husband was probably talking to me for many minutes before I even looked up. Oops.
The age-old fight of communication in marriage is not going away by itself. Communication issues must be addressed (in a loving manner, of course) before they can be repaired.
Here are four indicators in your talks with your spouse that they are not paying attention to. Then, keep reading to find out why your partner doesn’t hear you.
1. During the talk, he ignores you.
Instead, his gaze is drawn to the television, his phone, a book, or something else.
Active listeners will show their attention through eye contact as well as body posture. Even when my spouse is busy in an activity (such as cooking or working on a car) and unable to look at me, his shoulders are slightly bent to me. Even without making eye contact, it lets me know he’s paying attention.
2. She isn’t responding to what you’re saying.
You pose a question, but your partner does not respond. Sure, she could need a moment to gather her thoughts before responding. But if she doesn’t even realize you posed a question, it’s a dead giveaway that you and your wife aren’t communicating well. If she’s paying attention, she’ll probably reply correctly to what you’re saying. Sometimes a simple nod to indicate that she is listening is all that is required.
3. He doesn’t appear to grasp (or care about) what you’re saying to him.
It might be how you offer it, but if your partner is attentively listening, he should try to clarify the information you are providing him. “So what you’re saying is…” might help you comprehend someone’s point of view.
4. She is more concerned with the emotion of the conversation than with the words being spoken.
Instead of listening to what you’re saying, your partner becomes defensive, upset, or furious. My experience as a wife suggests that this may be a more outstanding issue for females. I am a highly emotional person. I have a terrible tendency of allowing my emotions to respond first and my intellect to catch up afterward. Try not to focus solely on your emotional reaction to it.