couple holding their hands
You may have heard of the Chicago legal company that put up a billboard that said, “Life is brief. Divorce yourself.” Then there was the 3,000-woman poll conducted by Woman’s Day magazine and AOL.com. According to the survey, 44 percent indicated they would marry their husbands again, 36 percent said no, and 20 percent were undecided. That doesn’t sound like safe marriage.
Let’s face it: we live in a discontented age. We are constantly inundated with advertisements and interviews. They remind us that we deserve a new vehicle, a better vacation, a beautiful physique… an ideal partner.
When I look at photos from my wedding to Jim, I see friends and family members whose lives have been wrecked by divorce and a lack of a safe marriage. I’ve also heard of couples who had been married for 30 years, 40 years, or more, only to find themselves estranged towards the end of their life.
Jim and I want our marriage to last a lifetime, just like our parents. That is why we make deliberate efforts to nurture our relationship.
Here are ten ways we safeguard our marriage. I hope you will take away one or two ideas that will improve your relationship with your spouse and help your marriage stay safe:
1. Spend quality time with your spouse regularly.
My spouse enjoys tinkering with vintage automobiles. He’s now converting a 1941 Chevrolet into a hot rod. If you’re a car illiterate like me, this implies he’s repairing an old car with new parts. It may not be super fun, but it is safe. I enjoy looking at gorgeous hot rods, but I couldn’t care less about the motors, pistons, and gears. However, because I like Jim, I accompany him to auto club meetings and vintage vehicle exhibitions. And I’ve met a lot of lovely individuals.
Now, my fun idea is sitting in a ballroom learning about new techniques to record ideas at a writing conference. Jim is uninterested in writing conferences. Yet, he has attended numerous conference dinners and welcomed my writer pals into our house. He’s generally the first person to read everything I’ve written, and he always offers me his honest feedback.
Jim and I have also shared many enjoyable trips throughout the years. We’ve traveled through the breathtaking Great Smoky Mountains, floated on local lakes, and watched hot air balloons fill the early sky. We recently visited a national park high in the Ozark Mountains, far from computers, mobile phones, and supermarkets. This has led to a safe and companionable marriage.
2. Make your connection more enjoyable.
Notes in lunch boxes, tucked in pieces of baggage, or placed beneath the visor of the car are always appreciated, no matter how long you’ve been married. And in this day and age, it’s so simple to express your feelings to your spouse by email or text message. All of these small gestures can keep your marriage safe.
If I’m packing a lunch for Jim to take to work, I’ll frequently put a message inside a napkin or even a bag of chips. And he’ll frequently leave a message on my answering machine at work to tell me how much he adores me, thus ensuring our relationship stays safe.
You may even send your spouse on a scavenger quest. It may conclude in a romantic restaurant where you will be waiting. What better way to keep your marriage safe from divorce?
3. Thank God every day for your partner, flaws and all.
When Jim expresses his love for me despite my grumpiness and selfishness, he exemplifies the heart of Christ. If he becomes irritable after a hard day, I have the chance to offer him understanding rather than judgment to keep us safe.
For sinful myself and my sinful husband, a perfect Savior died on the cross. A safe marriage is made up of two flawed persons who are being molded to the image of Christ daily as a result of Life’s difficulties.